My, how he’s changed!

Pip at ~3 weeks old, right after I brought him home. I had to bottle feed the little squirt. He sure was a sweety, though.

Pip now – ~15 lbs., loves only me and isn’t sweet to anyone else. But, man oh man, does he ever love me.

Ah, books, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Just found out that there is a new Thursday Next book, First Among Sequels, coming out on July 24! While I’m not really a fan of the fantasy and sci fi genre, I was sucked into the Thursday Next series from the get go. Actually, it was the title that got me: The Eyre Affair. I love Jane Eyre, so I was intrigued by a novel that played on Jane Eyre, and was even more hooked when I realized that the books play on literature in general.

And speaking of books…I’m counting down the days until HP and the Deathly Hallows. I’m looking forward to the HP and the Order of the Phoenix movie, but I can hardly wait for the 7th HP to be released. I just hope no one ruins the ending for me before I get a chance to read it, which is why I’ll be sequestering myself in my apartment until I finish the book once it’s released. Silly? Maybe…but you find fun where you can, right?

I want to ride my bicycle. I want to ride it when I like.

Title courtesy of Queen.

I want one of these: The Trek Lime.

Seriously, I can’t say I’m much of a bike enthusiast or anything. I’m certainly not interested in becoming a racing bicyclist or a mountain biker, but commuter biking…that’s a different story. It’s absolutely something I’d consider, and have on many occasions. One thing that holds me back, however, is that whenever I start reading about bicycles, I get overwhelmed with the details, especially gear shifting. Look, I don’t like shifting gears in a car. I certainly don’t want to shift them on a bicycle.

I miss the days when bicycles were simple. You hopped on one and rode. And they didn’t have to be expensive to be decent.

Now I’m just too intimidated to go to a bicycle shop. Intimidated by the price, intimidated by the fact that I’m a fat chick who’s interested in possibly buying a bicycle at some point in the future, intimidated by all the intricacies involved.

Apparently, there are a number of people who feel the same way I do, because “commuter bicycles” are becoming more and more common. The price is still a bit high for someone like me, but it might be worth saving for. Especially now that automatic shift bicycles are coming into play.

Not to mention, the Trek Lime just looks really cool.

Progress. Whew.

I cleaned my kitchen this weekend. From top to bottom. I scrubbed and reorganized, sorted through and pitched things. Took me nearly the entire weekend, but it’s done. Told my grandmother last night that perhaps I would sleep in the kitchen, as it’s now the cleanest room in my apartment.

Next on the agenda for my apartment is the bathroom. I did sweep up in there and do a cursory scrub of the bathtub, but I need to do the same things with sorting/reorganizing/scrubbing down. Then I’m going to focus on the dining room, followed by the living room, and then, finally, my bedroom. It’s not a big apartment, but it sure does hold a lot of crap.

…

I have a small cut above my right eye as of this morning, when my Pip (my 15lb gray male cat) decided to walk on my head while I was sleeping. He becomes the most annoying little piss-ant in the mornings when he wants to be fed. He walks on me, then he gets on my bedside table and knocks things over, then he tries to find a plastic bag or something that rattles so he can attempt to eat it, because he knows it drives me crazy. Seriously, he knows.  He’s annoying, but he’s not stupid. Unfortunately, not feeding him when he exhibits annoying behavior doesn’t seem to work. But I’m determined to not give in.

My Felix (the tuxedo kitty) was in a very needy mood this weekend. Every time I would sit down, no matter where, he wanted to be on my lap. This included when I would go to the bathroom. He would follow me in the bathroom, meow at me, and then try to jump on my lap. When I would sit down for a minute to rest, he was right there, purring and kneading me with his sharp little claws. Then, last night, I was standing in the kitchen leaning against the counter, and the next thing I know, Felix is on my shoulder, trying to climb onto my chest. He had food, water and a clean litter box. The only thing I could figure is that he really really wanted attention.

I’m registered!

I just registered for my chem 101 class and lab for this fall. Whew. I was afraid that I wouldn’t get in the class due to freshman registration that’s going on. Fortunately, I was processed as of this morning and was able to register.

Now to manage to get through the class, with an A if at all possible. It’s going to be an interesting fall.

Last day of spring. But it’s felt like summer for a while now.

The summer solstice – the official “longest day of the year” – is tomorrow. It’s always an interesting time of year, because my psychiatrist swears that on the day after, people’s moods start to shift. This is particularly true for those who suffer from seasonal affective disorder, but can affect anyone with depression. He swears that the moon’s cycles have an effect as well. I don’t doubt it.

I’m still feeling pretty good right now, and I plan on keeping it that way. Feeling fairly motivated. Getting my things in order for the fall – I know about how much books are going to cost, and I’m making sure my laptop is up to par for the chemistry lab. I also discovered a nice little online chemistry basics refresher on the chem department website. Considering I haven’t had chemistry since, oh, 1992 or so, it will probably be helpful to brush up on the basics before the fall semester begins.

This summer seems to be flying by, and it hasn’t even officially started yet!

Where my heart is

In working for my alma mater, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget what brought me here in the first place, not just five years ago, when I started working here, but 13 years ago when I first came here, 17 years old and pretty naive about the world, the promise of Carolina and a bright future ahead of me.

Freshman orientation is going on right now at Carolina, and I can’t help but remember my own freshman orientation experience. I hadn’t yet graduated from high school – still had a physics final to take – and my dad drove me to Chapel Hill, where I spent three days (I think…) nauseated due to nerves, living in a barren dorm room with strangers, getting my first taste of freedom, wondering what the hell I was thinking.

My freshman year is now a bit of a blur, and it certainly wasn’t the easiest of times. I lived in a triple in my dorm with two girls who liked to party. I contemplated dropping out because of my living situation, but the area director for my dorm helped me find a new roommate, and I made it through second semester without nearly as much turmoil.

Classes were both easier and more difficult than I had expected – I made the freshman mistake of signing up for an 8 a.m. class, thinking that it wouldn’t be hard to do since I’d had to be at school earlier than that in high school. Ha. I anticipated 20 page papers, thanks to my high school junior English teacher, but instead was assigned 5-8 page papers. I took a full course load, not knowing why I shouldn’t. I didn’t learn to manage my time very well, and my freshman year grades reflected it. Not that I did really poorly, but I didn’t make the Dean’s List.

Still, it wasn’t all bad. I learned a lot about myself that year, and I gained two friendships that have turned out to be two of the dearest and most enduring friendships I’ve ever had. I’m certainly thankful for that.

…

I had to return a few books to the university library today and run by the cashier’s office to drop off my tuition waiver form for my fall class. In doing so, I had the opportunity to walk across the main part of campus – through Polk Place, past The Pit, stopping in Davis Library, then on to Bynum Hall, and back past Memorial Hall and the Old Well. And I couldn’t help but think that, as frustrated as I get sometimes at hoops I have to jump through as both a staff member and a student, as annoyed as I get by the immaturity of some of the undergraduates, as tired as I am of seeing all the construction that never seems to end…I really do love this place, and I can’t imagine going anywhere else. Should I succeed at getting into medical school, I may very well have to get over my stubbornness about wanting to stay at Carolina, but in the meantime, I’m going to try to enjoy the good things this university has to offer.

I always get nostalgic when we start to gear up for a new school year. *sniff*

My Daemon

Ever read the “His Dark Materials” trilogy by Philip Pullman? They’ve made the first book, The Golden Compass, into a movie to be released this December. Anyway, you can find out your own daemon on the movie website.

Mine is an ocelot…

Suitable that it should be a wildcat, I suppose, considering that I’m mom to a few “wildcats” of my own.

Stepping in the right direction

I went ahead and filled out my “application for readmission” to the part-time classroom studies program here at UNC, so that I can take a class in the fall. I usually wait until the last minute, but this time I decided I would get a head start so that I can make sure I have all my “ducks in a row” before classes begin.

So, a small step, but a significant one, as it is one that must precede all the others.

…

In other news, my chorus hired a new music director. The chorus founder stepped down in January 2007, and for the spring semester we had a guest conductor, who happens to be the conductor of my former chorus. In the meantime, the search committee was busy interviewing candidates and deciding who to audition. Twelve folks applied, and we auditioned four in the end. There was really only one of those I was dead set against – the conductor of my former chorus. I just wasn’t keen on the idea of having her as a music director again.

The person who was hired for the position was my second favorite after the interviews, and might well have been my first pick if he were female. Seriously, though, he’s extremely talented and enthusiastic, and I think it will be quite enjoyable to sing under him, albeit very different, as we’re not used to having a male director.

I will say one thing – he must be very confident in his abilities to apply for the position of music director of a women’s chorus, and particularly a women’s chorus like this one. I don’t know that I’ve ever been in a group that had so many strong and outspoken women in it! I suppose it is indicative of the kind of community we live in here in Chapel Hill, but even so…

So much to do before fall, and though the summer hasn’t officially started, it feels like it’s already slipping away!

Figuring it out

I’m faced with some decisions now – decisions that could affect my future significantly. Not that all decisions, even the seemingly minor ones, don’t affect your future in some way, but these decisions will affect my future in a more obvious way. Some things on my mind: Do I apply to nursing school now? Do I postpone applying and, once again, go after my true desire – to go to medical school? Do I continue on in the same job while I make these decisions? If I choose plan (B), the med school route, how do I pay for it? Also, what’s my plan for dealing with my next depressive episode, should there be one, since quitting is not an option, but neither is doing poorly in my coursework?

I had a good therapy session last night. I wasn’t sure what my therapist’s take on my change in life plans would be, as we have talked at length about reasons why it would be particularly difficult for me to become a physician. I started by telling her that now that it is time to apply to nursing school, I, um, don’t really want to apply. I don’t particularly want to go to nursing school. I think being a nurse would make me happier than I am in my current career, but it’s not really my life’s ambition. My therapist said, “No, you want to go to medical school.” And she’s exactly right.

We talked about some of the possibilities – how to finish my prerequisites (two semesters of inorganic and three semesters of organic chemistry, and two semesters of physics, perhaps another semester of biology), how to pay for all of this crazy stuff, how to stay motivated while I go through the paces.

Then I made the statement that I didn’t think I could choose a more difficult path for me to take than becoming a physician, and she said, “I disagree.” I said, “Okay…” and she said, “I think that if you continued on in your current profession, it would be more difficult for you, because you would be unhappy. If you are still doing your current job in five years, that would be hard for you – harder than trying to go to medical school.”

I replied, “Good point. I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

So, for the next three or so years, while I’m trying to finish my med school prerequisites, I’m going to continue telling myself, “This isn’t as hard as not trying would be…”