Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true.

My bosslady had these in my office this morning with a “Great Job Yesterday!” note on them. Aren’t they beautiful? My old boss never would’ve done that. No, really.

 

 

 

Whew. Excellent.

Went to Wilmington, saw the movie, got the book at B&N at midnight, and then stayed up half the night reading. I couldn’t finish it before sleeping, though, so I finished on Saturday. I’m too old to be pulling all-nighters. My cousin A, though, didn’t go to bed until about 6 a.m.

All I have to say is that HP & the Deathly Hallows was my favorite book of the series. Very different from the previous six, and I think Rowling wrapped things up nicely, and extremely creatively. I was right about some of my predictions, wrong about others, and sort of both right and wrong about a few others. If you’ve read the book, you can probably guess what that might mean.

For the most part, I was pleased with how Rowling handled the book. Even though there were a few parts that I wish were different, I understand why they had to be that way. I cried in a couple of places, and laughed in a few, but this was definitely a more serious book than the previous ones, for good reason.

My favorite line (which won’t give anything away, and which I’m not sure I can quote exactly): “She’s as nutty as squirrel poo.” Hilarious!

Very touching, very fulfilling, very emotionally charged…I’m sad that it’s over. Now I’m listening to it on CD, which is a treat in and of itself.

Party poopers

Why is it that so many people are out to ruin the final Harry Potter book for everyone else? I just read an article that stated that JK Rowling is quite upset because THE NEW YORK TIMES decided to publish their review of the book today, even though the book is not scheduled to be released until Saturday at 12 a.m. They shouldn’t have been able to purchase a copy of the book, but they found it at a store in NYC, and couldn’t wait to run the review until, um, Saturday (or next week, depending on how often they run reviews), once the book was already out. I didn’t read it, but while apparently the review didn’t exactly give away the ending, it did include spoilers. Of course.

Unfortunately for me, the NYT is one of the news sites I check on a daily basis, and I urge you to not go there if you don’t want a crucial spoiler to hit you from the home page. Granted, they phrased it in such a way that perhaps most children won’t understand it, but many/most adults would get their point in using such a headline. And, frankly, it pisses me off because I’ve been trying really really hard to avoid such things. Why put it in the headline? Why be an asshole and try to ruin the fun for everyone who’s been waiting for this book for so long? Especially with it being a children’s book???

I would expect better from a paper like the NYT. But I guess even people who work for prestigious news organizations can be assholes, and this is a good example. I hope they get lots of “feedback” about this obvious lapse in judgment.

Some random thoughts, and some not-so-random thoughts.

My bathroom painting job is finished. Now I have to clean the tub, sink, floor and toilet, reorganize the linen closet, and go through/trash the crap I’m not gonna use/don’t need anymore/never liked anyway. THEN it will be done.

…

There was a bit of a mix-up with my cousin, A, and our plans this weekend. I shouldn’t say a mix-up, as it wasn’t really – it was more an issue of his having two idiots for parents, neither of whom seem to really want the kid, and neither of whom are willing to make even minor sacrifices to make his life a bit more enjoyable. His mother (my cousin M) called my grandmother and said that A’s father couldn’t bring him to her house for Nanny to pick him up there. A lives with his dad about 30 minutes outside of Wilmington, where my grandmother lives. Anyway, M asked Nanny if she could pick A up from his dad’s, to which Nanny replied that, no, she couldn’t, as (a) she wasn’t familiar with that town and so didn’t feel comfortable going there alone, and (b) why the hell couldn’t A’s dad bring him? M said it was because A’s dad didn’t have enough money for gas to get him to her house. Nanny asked M how A’s dad managed to move his girlfriend and her kids up here from Florida and how he’s supporting them, but he doesn’t have enough money for gas to get his son to her house, about 20 miles away?

Anyway, M called her father (my mom’s older brother) and he agreed to pick up his grandson and bring him to my grandmother’s house tonight. So, the plans for the weekend are still on. I’m going to make an evening of it with A on Friday night – taking him to see the HP 5 movie at Mayfaire 16 cinema in Wilmington, then perhaps for ice cream at Cold Stone, then on to Barnes & Noble until midnight, when we’ll get our books. I went ahead and ordered the movie tix online, in case it sells out, as there is only a couple of decent theatres in Wilmington, and only ONE B&N, which happens to be near the nicest theatre. So…

…

Speaking of HP 5 – my best friend, S, and I are going to go see it at IMAX in Raleigh weekend after next. Yes, I will have already seen the movie, as I knew no one else would take A to see it, but there’s nothing like that IMAX experience, and the last 20 minutes of the movie (the fight scene at the Ministry of Magic, I suspect) are in 3D. Should be very cool. I’m also just looking forward to hanging out with S.

…

Had therapy on Monday evening, and I didn’t know what to talk about, which has been a problem of late. I confessed that to my therapist, and she asked me questions about work, and about various other issues, and I told her that I just don’t feel as stressed about those things anymore. So, we actually started talking about cutting back on my sessions from weekly to every other week. She said we should probably keep therapy weekly for a little while longer, but if I’m still doing well after a while, we can cut back.

Which, of course, gave me lots of fodder for future therapy sessions. Because while I’m happy to be doing well enough that I don’t feel a dependence on therapy like I once did, it’s also a bit scary to think that the end might be drawing near. I can honestly say that, until very recently, I wasn’t sure if I would ever stop going to therapy. For nearly 9 years, I’ve gone to therapy, and the only time I missed weeks was when I had to out of necessity (like when insurance wouldn’t cover additional sessions, which happened with my former therapist). For the past 4.5 years, I’ve seen this therapist and I’ve seen her nearly every single week, minus a few vacations and holidays. The thought of not seeing her is, well, a bit frightening.

Not that she’s kicking me out or anything! But I really didn’t know I was going to get to this point, well, ever. And, while I know that cutting back doesn’t mean I can’t increase back up to weekly if need-be, it’s still a huge change, and a huge accomplishment. Which reminds me that I’m still not used to feeling quite mentally stable most of the time…

So, guess what I’ll be talking about in therapy on Monday?

…

Speaking of things that are stressful, Nanny relayed some news to me last night from my mother, who, for whatever reason, rarely calls me and rarely has time to talk when I call her. Anyway, apparently my father, who is a type 2 diabetic, was put on insulin this week by his doctor. It’s something that’s been a long time coming and, frankly, should have happened a long time ago! I’ve just assumed my dad had a death-wish, as he wasn’t doing a very good job of taking care of himself and his blood sugar levels were out of control. Both his father and his paternal uncle died at pretty young ages (in their 50s) and my dad turns 51 on Friday. Perhaps mortality is becoming more of a reality for him now?

Also, Nanny told me that my cousin C, the one with the charmed life, is having a little boy due November 11. She and her hubby will celebrate their first anniversary in August. Happy happy, joy joy. I must say that I’m much happier about the pregnancy of a friend of mine than I am about the pregnancy of my cousin. Not that I don’t wish her all the best, but I just don’t know that I will be able to put on a smiling face and coo over the little one when I want so much to be in a position to have a little one of my own. I know it’s not feasible right now, as I am damn determined that I am going to medical school, so the pitter-patter of little feet for me will have to be put on hold. Still, it seems so unfair that life can be so easy for some people and so difficult for others.

In the meantime, I will just surround myself with those I love and who make me feel good, and avoid those who don’t. In particular, I will make sure to get plenty of lovin’ from S’s little girl, the Peanut. She’s 2, cute as can be, and I must say that I think I love that child more than I’ve ever loved any child. She’s got her Auntie Kel wrapped around her little finger. Which is the only way I would have it.

My arms feel like they’re going to fall off.

I painted my bathroom this weekend. The job was the culmination of a project that began three weekends ago, when I began removing the wallpaper, as it was already peeling and my cats had decided to help out a bit. I live in an apartment, but I knew that they’d charge me to re-wallpaper the bathroom when I move out had it been left like it was, and I was tired of looking at peeling (and really ugly) wallpaper. So now my walls are cream. Not exciting, but it matches the rest of the apartment, so I won’t have to repaint. And, since the apartment complex has changed owners since I moved in, perhaps I can get away with denying that there was ever wallpaper up in that bathroom to begin with. At the very least, it looks a lot better, and my paint job is better than what they did in the rest of the apartment. Sigh.

I had NO idea how much of a job this one little bathroom fix up was going to be, but my muscles are screaming at me today, and I still need to do a second coat of paint and then reattach the hardware (towel bar, etc.) and clean up in there. I’ll finish the painting tonight, but I doubt that I get much more than that accomplished. I’m wiped out.

I think, should I have a house of my own one day, perhaps I’ll at least hire someone to help me with home improvement projects.

…

Going to Wilmington this weekend to take my cousin, A, to the Harry Potter “Midnight Magic” party at B&N. He’s 14 and loves the HP books about as much as I do, and no one else will take him, and he hasn’t been to one of these in the past. Given that there’s only ONE B&N in Wilmington, I expect the place will be packed, but I’ve reserved our books and am anxiously awaiting Friday. My grandmother said he’s very excited and has called her multiple times over the past few days.

Part of me wishes I had just decided to stay home, as I hate going to my grandmother’s house to just sit and read, but knowing how much A wants the book and wants to go to the midnight release party, I suppose it will be worth it. The kid has so little to look forward to in his life, if I can bring him a little joy, I’ll sure try.

If I were a Simpsons character…

I also did one of my family as tourists standing in front of the White House. Heh.

It’s probably the last family photo we’ll ever have.

If you want to make your own Simpsons avatar, visit the Simpsons Movie site.

…

Okay, enough with the silliness. I’ll try to do a real post next time. Emphasis on “try.”

Boob talk?

For those of you (like myself) who have yet to experience the wonder that is a mammogram (heh), you absolutely must check out Julie’s “reenactment” of her recent experience. Be prepared to laugh out loud.

Harry (Potter) funny.

Check out today’s Savage Chickens cartoon.

I hope it doesn’t turn out to be true, but I’m afraid it might. Yes, I know it’s just a book…

And…Oh my…we’re two weeks away from the release of HP7. I can hardly wait.

…

Andrea was the one who turned me on to Savage Chickens, as she mentions the cartoons on her blog occasionally.

I’m rated PG. Or, rather, my blog is.

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• hurt (3x)
• dead (1x)

I guess my old blog would have definitely been rated R. Ha!

Sunshine and roses. Sunshine and roses, dammit!

I’m working hard today to keep a happy face and not let petty stupid little shit bother me. I won’t even specify what it is that’s bothering me, apart from saying that it deals with a supposed friend who appears to talk out of both sides of her mouth, and if you’re reading this, you’re likely not the supposed friend to whom I’m referring.

Truth is, I do feel good – better than I have in a long time – but I’m not immune to feeling hurt regarding certain wounds that run deep. My old reaction would have been to let the hurt fester, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to take that track now.

Approaching the person wouldn’t make anything better, as I don’t know that she’s even cognizant of how her actions are hurtful toward me, or, if she is, I’m not sure that she would really be able to change them. I’m not sure she has that kind of insight, and the fact that she battles mental illness doesn’t make it any easier.

At the mo’, I’m being quite pleasant and friendly toward her when we interact, but I don’t trust her as far as I can throw her. I did trust her at one time, but she lost my trust through a series of events, and I don’t know that she could ever do anything to regain it. I don’t think she’s an inherently bad person or anything, but I don’t think she makes very good choices regarding her life, and I don’t think she sees how her decisions impact those around her.

So, I will continue to keep my distance.

As for the hurt – I can’t control her actions, but I have some control over my reaction, and, frankly, the whole thing is not worth getting really upset over. I think it does speak to the kind of person she is, that she’s making the decisions she’s making, and, well, I refuse to allow myself to get caught up in the drama involved, or to let her know that her actions are hurtful to me. I won’t give her that power.

…

I started writing this post earlier today, and at the time I was feeling a little bummed … but now I’m okay again.  I’m amazed at how much easier I’m finding it to change my thinking patterns these days. I told my therapist last night that it all seems so much simpler now, and that I seem to have found a calmness in regards to my life. Not that there aren’t still some ups and downs, but I’m better able to keep them in perspective and not get bogged down with the details that troubled me in the past.

We also talked about my career plans, and she suggested that I change my statements from “when I go to medical school,” to “when I finish med school” or “when I become a physician.” A part of my brain finds it a bit presumptuous to make such a definitive statement, but the new me (ha!) knows – absolutely knows - that I’m going to reach the goal, even though the road to get there has been and likely will be longer and curvier than I could have anticipated.

If you want to read a good (and fairly brief) article on reaching your goals, check out this one from the May 2007 issue of Real Simple magazine. I found it pretty inspiring. My favorite part, about a woman who decided she wanted to go to law school at the age of 47:

When Michelle announced she was applying to law school, her husband was completely shocked. “Are you kidding?” he said. “Do you know how old you’ll be when you graduate? Fifty!”

“I’ll be 50 anyway,” she replied.

The next time I wonder (or am questioned about) if I’m too old to be doing this whole crazy med school prep thing, I’m going to remind myself that one day, hopefully, I’ll be 40 … and I can either be 40 and be a doctor or I can be 40 and not be a doctor.

Somehow that makes the whole decision seem so much clearer, doesn’t it?