A very common scene at my house.

They love each other.

Originally uploaded by KelliAmanda

Neville and Casey are, shall we say, a bit attached to each other. They are always snuggling and grooming one another, and it’s so sweet it just makes my heart ache. They’re not far apart in age – Casey’s nearly a year old and Neville is three – so they will hopefully be lifelong companions, just like Puddin’ and Penny.

Having kitties, especially wonderful sweet kitties, does ease the pain of losing my other babies, but it also reminds me of them frequently. I thought at first that Casey, being a tuxedo kitty, would remind me of my Felix, but he actually reminds me more of Pip. Not that he’s a mean cat like Pip was to everyone except me (and my grandmother, actually), but there’s something about his personality.

Casey is also my invisible cat, because he hides whenever someone comes over, so I think people might think I’m lying in saying I have two cats! No one ever sees Casey but me. Well, my Goddaughter did see him, but he wouldn’t let her get close. Maybe my Dad, who is coming this weekend, will get to see him. I don’t know.

Neville is my sweet baby. A big boy, but the gentlest, sweetest cat you could ever want. I can’t say that he reminds me of any of my lost babies – he’s pretty unique and special. Everyone loves Neville, and he’s happy to greet you when you come in. He loves to sit in my lap and loves for you to scratch between his front legs. He’ll throw his head waaayyy back like it feels sooooo good. It’s pretty funny.

I need to get more pics of Pud and Pen together. I’ll try for some and post the best when I get them.

Not feeling very bloggy lately

So much on my mind, yet so much that I won’t talk about on my blog. Some of it…most of it…will just have to be worked out.

(Watching Jeopardy…was that *really* the final Jeopardy clue? Too easy! And then one of the people got it wrong! Jeesh.)

Anyway, I don’t know where I am or what I’m doing anymore.

Don’t know whether I’m coming or going.

Do know that payday can’t get here fast enough.

Know that tomorrow – Friday – can’t be behind me fast enough.

Know that I think I know what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, but have no earthly idea how I’m going to get there.

Know that sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have nothing tying me down, but also know that I almost, on September 30, 2007, lost all of the critters that keep me somewhat tied down, and I’m so thankful that I didn’t. I know that they have saved my life on more than one occasion and probably will again, and that, all too soon, they won’t be here anymore.

Know that I wouldn’t trade my critters for the world. Seriously. I have the best dogs and the best cats anyone could hope for.

Feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes. Wishing I made more money. Trying to figure out how to better manage my money. Something I’ve got to work on very seriously.

Wishing I could go see Rent at the DPAC. Knowing that I can’t. Ah well. Going to see UNC vs. Miami with my Dad though! Yay!

Alright…it’s Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy tonight. I’m going to turn it on in my bedroom, I think, and try to get some cleaning done. Gotta get the apartment cleaned out and up and the accumulating clutter cleared out before Dad comes next weekend.

Stupid neighbors

Woke me up. With the trouble I’ve had sleeping lately, this is no small issue.

Not to mention the fact that they woke up my Goddaughter today while she was napping. Fortunately, it was nearly time for her to wake up anyway. But they were jamming out to some loud music, and the upstairs floorboards have developed some annoying loud squeaks. They seem to stand just over where it squeaks and jump up and down.

And they have a damn plastic sheet or something on the bed, because I can hear it (yes! I know!) crinkle whenever they get on and off the bed, or do, um, other things that involve more crinkling and squeaking.

I hate them. I really do.

And I’m even more sure that they’re dealing drugs or something. I mean, why else would a random white guy stop by for, oh, about 30 seconds (I’m not exaggerating) on New Year’s morning before 9 a.m.? He wasn’t delivering anything, or at least not anything he carried in his hands. In and out in about 30 seconds, and he was on his way. Um, yeah.

It makes me uncomfortable, and it pisses me off. So I sent the following email to the property manager:

Hi -

Just wondering if it would be possible to transfer my lease to somewhere less noisy if something similar (in price and size) comes available before my lease ends? I apparently can’t live happily someplace that has upstairs neighbors, though my previous upstairs neighbors were no problem. My current upstairs neighbors woke me up, again, and between that (I already have sleep issues, so it’s a big deal when they wake me up) and the trash they and their many guests leave in the yard (cigarette butts tossed down in front of my door from upstairs, candy wrappers, etc., strewn throughout the yard), and the water/flooding issues that have plagued my time here (and which may have created a mold problem), this apartment with its great location becomes less and less of a gem every day. Especially for nearly $700 a month, which is a substantial amount of money to me.

The neighbors who recently moved in beside me, by the way, are wonderful people who, despite having children, are quiet.

I’m sorry to complain, again, but I don’t know what else to do. They have been a bit more quiet since the last time I complained, but now there’s a lot of squeaky floorboards above my bedroom and it’s just loud. The music’s not so loud, though they were jamming out midday today and woke up my visiting 3-year-old niece, who was napping.

Thanks for taking my concerns under consideration.

Best regards,

Kelli

A little too polite, perhaps, but I don’t want to piss them off either. I just want them to do something. After the last time I complained, the neighbors have been markedly quieter, but they keep odd hours, which means they wake me up when they dance and sing or whatever in the bedroom above mine, and then there’s the trash which has to be lowering property values around here! And the many many many guests who are in and out at all hours of the day and night. And then, last night, I heard someone standing outside my window pop open a beer and crush beer cans. At 3 a.m.

Outside. My. Bedroom. Window. At. 3. A.M.

I don’t feel particularly unsafe here, though perhaps I should?, but it doesn’t make me very comfortable either. I can’t imagine that my neighbors with three children (the youngest is 4) are okay with all the traffic and the trash either, but I suspect they view this as a very temporary living situation. I never hear those people, by the way, even with three kids, including a young teenage boy, and a four-year-old girl. If they can keep their kids quiet, why can’t the folks upstairs keep themselves quiet? Sigh.

Going to try to go back to bed now. May end up sleeping in the living room – it’s nice and quiet in here right now…

Welcome to the new

Year, that is.

Yesterday was the last day of 2008, and Moxie asked her readers to write down a belief about themselves that they wanted to leave behind in the old year.

Today’s post asked readers to write their replacement belief.

My belief that I wanted to leave behind was:

I’m never going to be truly happy as long as I’m fat, and I’m always going to be fat, therefore I will never be truly happy.

My replacement belief is:

My happiness is not based on my size or my appearance unless I let it be so, and I can be both happy and fat, or both happy and thin. I’m not necessarily going to always be fat, but regardless of whether or not I’m fat, I don’t have to be unhappy.

Or, more simply: I don’t know that I will always be fat, but I do know that I don’t have to be unhappy.

Not feeling so upbeat right now. Getting ready to head to bed.