Good Morning Sunshine

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• 1. Marina  |  November 30, 2008 at 3:33 am

  Hi Kelliamanda,

  I have been meaning to drop you an email ever since I came across your blog by accident a few months ago. I have tuned in on and off to read some of your posts since that time. I really like your down-to-earth, personable and honest writing style, but more than anything I wanted to write you because we share such a similar, life-altering experience. When I came across your writings where you described the devastating fire you experienced last year and the loss of your five beautiful kitties, my heart truly went out to you. I cried as I read your story and I can honestly say I truly understand the pain and impact that this tragedy has had on your life. The reason I can say this is because I went through virtually an identical experience myself earlier this year.

  On the afternoon of April 16th my life was changed forever. While I was at work a horrible fire broke out in my condominium building and in less than an hour all the condos on the top floor of the building were reduced to nothing but ashes and rubble. I lost my home and all my possessions. But even more devastatingly, four out of five of my beloved cats died. I live alone and they were my family, despite the fact that they were feline. I loved them so much. Beeper was almost 18 years old and I had him from the time he was a little kitten. He was my soul kitty and was my faithful companion for all those years. I had him since I was 19 years old in my first apartment. I’ve never known an adult life without him. Daisy was my little girl and Beeper’s best friend. She was 12 years old and I also had her from kittenhood. Then, unexpectedly, last year I fell in love with a homeless cat, brought her home to get her off the streets (she actually insisted I bring her with me), and named her Toobie. She turned out to be pregnant so she ended up having five gorgeous kittens at my place. I adopted out three of them, but fell absolutely in love with the most gregarious, spunky boy of the whole litter, Joey, so I couldn’t bare to part with him or his brother Gingey, with whom Joey was so close to. I kept the two brothers of the litter. I was so happy to be able to provide a loving home for Toobie, Gingey, and Joey, and I was thrilled to keep the family together. I now had my two older kitties, Beeper and Daisy, and the new younger generation for a total of five the day of the fire. Beeper, Daisy, Toobie, and sweet little 6-month old Joey all died. (Wow… writing that sentence is still so hard…). The one true miracle that day was that Gingey managed to save himself by climbing out of a broken window in my condo and jumped from the burning building, falling four stories to the ground below. At this point, I was still at work, oblivious to the horrors that were taking place while I was teaching a kindergarten class. Thanks to the kindness and quick-thinking of one of the hundreds of spectators outside, Gingey was rescued after his fall. A lady saw him fall and alerted a firefighter, who gave him oxygen. This woman then personally brought Gingey to the local vet. His leg was subsequently amputated, but it was a small price to pay compared to losing his life if he’d stayed inside the building. He has been with me ever since, and he is my Hero. I swear he has saved my sanity in what have been some very dark days in the past seven months. I have had so many fantasies about my other four following him out the window. I will never know why he got out and the others didn’t. When I arrived on the fire scene and saw my home on fire, with the roof collapsed on top of it, and knowing that my loved ones were trapped in there and it was too late to help them, I honestly thought I was going to die of shock right then and there.

  I don’t need to tell you Kelliamanda how devastating an experience this has for me, because you went through it yourself. Weeks after the fire, I was searching for fire stories online. I felt a need to read about other people’s experiences, but I couldn’t believe it when I stumbled across your blog. The parallels were incredible. Reading about the love you had for your beautiful Pip, Piper, Xander, Felix, and Bella, honestly brought me to tears as I looked at some of their photos. They were so beautiful and were all such individuals. You have my most heartfelt condolences. I can relate to it all. Both your and my kitties deserved to live out the natural course of their lives in safety and love. For me, this has been the hardest part to accept. I have gone through a horrendous experience, but ultimately I am still alive. No matter what I lost, my sweeties lost so much more, and this is the part that continues to haunt me and cause me daily pain. On the up side, I am so grateful that your 2 doggies survived and that my Gingey is still with me. They are the lucky ones.

  I won’t go on, as this email has already been way longer than I had intended. But I’d like to ask you, does the pain ease with time? Does the crying eventually stop? Have you gotten to a point yet where you’re able to think of your loved ones without pain and crying? You are further along this journey than I am, so maybe you have some insights for me.

  I would love to hear back from you. Please feel free to email me anytime if you wish to share or discuss anything. I know that one of the difficulties I’ve had in this whole recovery process is a feeling of emotional isolation from everyone I know…even close family and friends. They have tried their best to be supportive, but they really have little clue what a trauma like this does to someone’s life, and how it forever changes your view of life and the world. The bottom line is that only people who have personally gone through this can know this. Being a lifelong animal lover myself (like you) I can say that this is an animal lover’s worst nightmare come true.

  How unfortunate that we both had this unlucky event take place…at a scale of this magnitude…the chances of it happening are like being struck by lightning.

  I felt lucky however to find your blog, only because prior to that point I felt like I was the only one going through something like this, as a single female in my thirties, living only with non-human companions.

  Well, Kelliamanda, thanks for reading my story (assuming you actually did get this far in my email!). I hope things are going well for you and the worst is behind you. I would love to hear back from you.
  Kind regards,

  Marina
  Montreal, Canada

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• 2. Shaunda  |  January 13, 2009 at 4:51 pm

  Was just strolling along- after being unsuccessful with setting up my second blog at wordpress.com. I had never clicked on your about me link- or not since this was posted. All I can say is… wow! Hope you are keeping in touch with this person. Knowing you, Im sure you are. I do hope things are getting easier for you and the reality of the fire. It was a lot, but you survived and you will continue to survive the pain and unfairness life has to offer many times- many more than desireable.

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