I don’t know what to title this post.

So much has been running through my head lately, but I haven’t felt much like blogging. 

Mood-wise, I’m doing okay, some of the time. Life-wise, I’m really stressed. Worried about losing my job. Knowing there’s not a damn thing I can do about it, if job cuts are coming down the pipeline. Really hoping I’m one of the lucky ones. It hit a little close to home today, and it was totally unexpected. Wondering how I would handle things, and not having a clue.

Going to work, coming home, feeding the critters and myself, trying to stay up long enough to, well, stay up a while. Talking to my grandmother. Being more inclined to just go to bed. Still feeling so tired, and realizing that others might find that an old excuse, but it is what it is. Weekends are spent catching up on sleep and trying to keep the house in order. And taking my foster kitty to adoption events that totally wear me out, physically and emotionally. 

Yes, I suppose I’m being pretty damn self-centered right now, having my own little pity party. I don’t have anything more to give, though. What I have to give I give to my critters and to my job and to myself. There’s nothing left over right now. It is what it is and it sucks, but what to do? I can’t give what I don’t have to give. I don’t know when that will change, but I doubt that it’s anytime soon.

I don’t know that any of this makes much sense. I’m wiped out, freaked out and stressed out. I am trying to keep my head above water and it could be worse and I know that and hope it doesn’t get worse but I’m terrified that it will. Sigh.

When it rains, it pours

No, I mean it literally pours – from the ceiling in my kitchen!!!

I don’t remember if I blogged about my apartment water issues before, when my bathroom flooded, but apparently there was a drain that was clogged, from my upstairs neighbors’ bath, and it overflowed and my entire bathroom had 2 inches of water in it, and the carpet in the hallway and part of the living room was soaked.

Fast forward to tonight, when I heard a dripping sound from my kitchen. Not having any idea what on earth it could be, and praying that something hadn’t sprung a leak, I went to the kitchen and saw water dripping from the top of the window casing. I went upstairs to see if they had sprung a leak, but they said that they had fixed whatever problem, then I came back downstairs – and there was a crack in my ceiling and water dripping right down on top of my stove.

Seriously. When it rains, it pours.

This had already not been the best of days, and then this.

I called emergency maintenance, and the guy came out and said that they have a leak and they’re not going to use the kitchen sink tonight and he’ll have to come back in the morning to fix the problem, but, in the meantime, he cut small holes in my ceiling around the crack to let the rest of the water through. I had already put a large plastic container to catch the dripping water.

And it’s nasty water too. Eeeeewwww…

He said that my upstairs neighbors may not be living here much longer, though. Apparently there’s some suspicion about things they are doing upstairs.

I could’ve told them that.

Wonder if I can get some rent knocked off for December, with all the shit I’ve put up with??? Or free rent???

Guess it won’t hurt to ask.

End of the weekend.

Accomplished pretty much nothing at all today. Between having a headache all day and my back preventing me from doing the most basic of tasks, if such tasks require bending over even a little bit, today was just a wash out.

Which, frankly, was not what I needed.

Essie didn’t eat much of anything today. I debated taking her out of quarantine, as she still doesn’t seem sick and I’m thinking her problem is likely stress/loneliness/boredom/depression? But, as her blood work results are supposed to be in tomorrow, I figured I would hold off until I know for sure she’s not sick.

If her blood work comes back good, I’ll take her out of quarantine tomorrow. Poor baby. I did get her to eat a little bit of boiled chicken tonight, but she didn’t even touch the prescription a/d cat food the vet sent home nor did she taste the chicken baby food last night.

She also hasn’t touched the dry food AT ALL nor has she pooped even once since I’ve had her home. But her belly isn’t distended and the vet didn’t think she had an intestinal blockage. When she tried to get a fecal sample, there was nothing to sample.

I may have to get her some subcutaneous fluids tomorrow if she still doesn’t eat. I’ll give her some more boiled chicken in the morning, if she’ll take it, and try her on some more a/d cat food, which she liked at first. Sigh.

——————-

Anyway, tomorrow is day two of Research Fair for our grad students. We have a fair-sized class this year, and they seem like a good bunch for the most part. I need to get up early tomorrow and get to work, um, on time? so I’m heading to bed soon. Hopefully, despite my headache, I’ll be able to sleep.

Hopefully I won’t have to deal with the asshole neighbors again tonight. Things are, for now, fairly quiet.

Classes begin Tuesday morning and my CHEM 101 prof is, let’s just say, enthusiastic. Very enthusiastic. The class is going to be a lot of work, and sometime between now and Tuesday morning at 8 a.m. (ha!) I’ve got to find time to read Chapter 1 in my text and review the stuff he’s putting online tomorrow morning.

Of course, I’ll probably be working late tomorrow because of Research Fair. And I have to attempt to get adequate sleep so that I can focus in class Tuesday morning.

What the hell am I thinking doing this? Trying to remind myself of what my therapist said – it would be harder to not try. Harder to give up than to give it my all.

I surely hope she’s right, and that it will all be worth it in the end. Guess I’ll know sooner rather than later.

Little sleep…

I was wrong about the music being off. In fact, the music may still be on right now.

I dozed off and on in the living room for a while, then went back to bed and was, thankfully, able to finally fall asleep.

But I was woken again this morning just after 8 (I didn’t get back to sleep until nearly 6) by the stupid upstairs neighbor’s thumping bass.

Perhaps I should buy some earplugs. Except then I wouldn’t likely hear my alarm either.

Don’t know if the police ever came by last night. Oddly enough, you can’t hear the music well from outside, just from the ceiling inside. Figures.

Anyway, headache this morning even after taking something before I went back to bed at almost 6, and I’m soooo tired. And my back is killing me. Three trips to my chiropractor later, and I still can’t bend over without it being painful, and, if I move too fast, it feels like I’m going to fall down as the pain hits. Ow.

Alright, gotta go feed the furbabies and see if Miss Essie will eat this morning. She did eat a little yesterday, which is an improvement.

The property manager or the universe hates me. I’m not sure which.

New neighbors in my quad-plex this past couple of weeks. Round 1 included a pretty quiet and seemingly nice trio of folks with a dog. No complaints.

Round 2 happened today. Not sure if it’s just the two guys I saw moving in first, or if it’s them and the other couple of people who showed up later.

First thing I noticed was the elephants apparently walking around in the apartment above me. Dear god – why the apartment above me? Lots of loud moving around and banging, but I figured, eh, whatever, as they’re just moving in there’s bound to be noise over and above normal regular moving around in one’s apartment. No problem.

Then, later this evening, I hear music. Well, it’s still a reasonable hour, so, again, I can deal. But then comes stomping. Stomping to the beat of the music. Like they’re having a step competition above my head. Not cool.

I take the dogs out one last time before bed and notice a few cigarette butts and a crumpled cigarette box scattered on the ground outside my apartment.

A little background is required here. First of all, I have an issue with folks flicking cigarette butts. I survived a fire last fall that consumed my entire apartment building and three cats. If you are on the balcony and you are flicking cigarette butts on the ground one floor down, those cigarette butts are not put out. Which scares the shit out of me, even though the mulch isn’t as likely to burn as the pine straw that was around my old apartment building and this building is brick rather than wood.

Second, when I first moved to this street, there was, let’s say, a landscaping problem. As in trash just thrown on the ground because apparently folks didn’t know what trashcans are for. It didn’t look good. I would pick up trash periodically because it would annoy the hell out of me, but I wasn’t going to get out with a trash bag every day to clean up after some of my neighbors.

Then the owner of these properties decided he wanted to try to tell them as condos, and a landscaper came out and attempted to make the place look presentable. And, even though it’s not the best landscaping job I’ve ever seen, it is, at least, mulch and plants rather than, um, trash.

But, in addition to the cigarette butts tonight that were flicked from the upper balcony, there was the crumpled cigarette box laying on the ground. And a beer can. And bottle caps. And several other little pieces of trash that, when added together, make things look trashy. I picked up the trash and threw it in one of the garbage containers.

Time for bed, so I head to the bedroom and, again, it’s not a huge deal as the stomping/music is primarily over my living room. I go to sleep…

only to be awoken at three-fucking-thirty in the morning from the deep bass “music” piping down from the bedroom above mine in the apartment above mine.

Nothing pisses me off more than being woken up in the middle of the night. I have too much trouble getting a good night’s sleep to have to worry about my neighbors being inconsiderate and waking me up.

The rent in this place I am renting is reasonable for the area, but it’s not cheap by any means, and I would think that if the owner of this property wants to sell these places as condos (he’s beginning with the building next door to where I’m currently living), things should remain presentable and pleasant, as they have been for the past couple of months. I have to assume that the property manager who manages these places for the owner doesn’t know that my new neighbors are inconsiderate both by being too loud and by throwing down trash, so, after calling the police to complain because MY NEIGHBORS WOKE ME UP AND NOW I CAN’T GO BACK TO SLEEP BECAUSE THE MUSIC IS TOO FUCKING LOUD AND THE BUMP BUMP BUMP BASS OVER MY HEAD IS DRIVING ME CRAZY, I left a message at my property manager’s office about my new neighbors, asking them to say/do something. Please. Something before this gets out of control.

This is what I was most afraid of in living in a two story apartment building. My former upstairs neighbors were nice and quiet, which was great. But in my old apartment complex, I had a series of noisy upstairs neighbors, the worst of which being the two college guys who thought it was acceptable to lift weights at 1 a.m. right above my bedroom. So, I would awake to SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK, BOOM! Every time the guy working out would lift the barbell, the floor would creak like he was going to come right through it, and after every rep of five, there would be the BOOM of him putting the barbell back down on its stand. After complaining, I finally got them to understand that I didn’t care if they did that in the daytime, but, for god’s sake, don’t lift weights above my head at 1 a.m.? Please?

Anyway, I’m tired and it sounds as if, perhaps, the music has ceased. Perhaps I can go back to sleep now, in my bedroom, rather than attempting to sleep in the living room where the music isn’t so noticeable.

I have a headache. Why do things like this seem to always happen to me?