Trying to keep my head on straight

I’m struggling with a lot of difficult feelings right now. Family issues that I won’t write about here because I don’t want someone to accidentally come across this post and read something I wouldn’t want to share with them; conflict and fear about going back to school, both in regards to the class I am taking this fall and the prospect of going back full-time at some point; stress about getting older and not feeling like I’ve accomplished, well, anything; frustration with the world in general and the government and a large portion of American citizens in particular…

I just have too much on my mind.

I need to stop watching and reading the news, news/political blogs and, frankly, Facebook status updates from Republicans. The bullshit about Obama not being an American citizen, and the fact that there are people (probably in my own family!) who BELIEVE that is the truth. The bullshit about single-payer/socialist health care that lets me know that people only hear what they want to hear and have somehow missed the part where that’s not, um, what’s being proposed. The fact that people I used to be friends with are among the idiot Americans who think that things are okay the way they currently are and nothing needs to change, all because they’re afraid of change.

I just don’t get it. I just don’t understand how people can think that the way things are, with 50 million uninsured Americans and more underinsured Americans and a health care system that already rations health care but does so based on ability to pay for services rather than on what might actually be fair or morally and ethically right…

It’s all enough to make me scream. And call my representatives and tell them that they need to vote for health care reform.

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I have a new neighbor in the apartment above mine, but so far he’s quiet. Quite a difference from the drug-dealing noisy assholes who used to live up there. Today I came home and my neighbors in the apartment beside mine are moving out. I liked them, too, though they did play too loud music occasionally.  Now I have to worry about who might move into that apartment. I can’t take bad neighbors. My poor Puddin’ was so stressed with the folks that lived above us being so noisy and then the renovation work they did on that apartment with all the banging and carrying on…she would hide in the bedroom. I hope that whoever moves in beside me is also quiet. Then we’ll be good to go, for a little while anyway.

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I’m just rambling now so I’ll stop. Having a hard time updating this blog because there’s too much in my head and I’m not doing a very good job of getting it out in a coherent manner.

Collecting my thoughts

I’m working on a lengthy and detailed post about Proposition 8 and gay marriage rights. It’s a difficult subject for me to write about, however, as my blood begins to BOIL every time I think about churches imposing their own moral views on the general population.

I mean FOR FUCK’S SAKE it makes no sense.

But I’m trying to compose the post with a thoughtful argument and without using the word Fuck. Which is difficult. So…it’ll be a bit longer.

In the meantime…I’m attempting to type this post with a cat (Casey) laying on my arms. Not the easiest feat and requiring frequent use of the backspace key. Man I’m dedicated.

And now that I’ve finished the post, he decides to move. Stinker.

Oh noes! All the rumors were TRUE!!!?!?

LOL. I would send this to my family, but, well, they would probably think it was real. Jeesh.

Friday hodge-podge

More tired tonight than I have been other nights this week. Need to go home and clean out litter boxes, clean house, wash clothes, etc. etc., but right now just wanting to go to sleep. Sigh.

Hope my “energy” streak isn’t ending already. I need to be able to keep going!

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Heard a story on Talk of the Nation Science Friday on NPR earlier about a form of vitamin B3 (otherwise known as Niacin) showing promise in the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease. Apparently it might also be beneficial to healthy people in improving cognition and memory. And there’s a blanket warning to not go buy vitamin B3 supplements and take high doses, because too much can be toxic.

But I wonder if just taking some more B vitamins all the way around would help me. I’ve looked at taking Niacin supplements in the past, as well as Riboflavin (vitamin B2). I can’t say that I recall why, though.

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Heard a story on The People’s Pharmacy not long ago that I keep meaning to find the podcast for, as I didn’t hear the whole thing and would like to. It was regarding the emphasis on “the numbers” in medicine – blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, etc., and how focusing on the numbers rather than the disease that might be causing abnormal numbers isn’t very effective. In particular he talked about how studies have shown that taking oral hypoglycemics might lower blood sugar levels for type II diabetics, but don’t typically increase the lifespan of people with type II diabetes. Which would seem to defeat the whole point, you know? Why take the drugs if you aren’t going to live any longer? But I’m curious as to whether treating with insulin has a more beneficial outcome on lifespan. I’ll look it up at some point.

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Listened to President-elect Obama’s first press conference since winning the election this afternoon. I love the fact that he actually THINKS about things before acting. I think “pragmatic” is the perfect word to describe him, and that’s exactly what we need. His new web site is up and running, if not fully polished yet, and gives us a glimpse into what the Obama administration will be like. A very good thing indeed.

I also loved the fact that he referred to shelter dogs being mostly mutts, just like him. Pretty cute. A reporter asked about the soon-to-be First Dog and he said that the challenge will be in finding a dog that works with Malia’s allergies while still wanting to adopt a rescue dog.

Fortunately for the Obama family, there are a decent number of hypoallergenic breeds, and a large number of breed rescues. Obviously I’d love it if they could adopt a true mutt, but having to find a breed that doesn’t bother Malia’s allergies makes that less likely. But if they adopt a pup from a breed rescue, well, it would be better than buying from a breeder or (yikes) a puppy mill.

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Seven years ago today, my grandfather took his own life. Hard to believe it’s been seven years – seven years since 9/11, seven years since my grandfather’s death. Veteran’s day is coming up, which will forever be connected to his funeral in my mind. The memory of receiving that phone call from my mom telling me of his suicide is one that still haunts me if I think about it too much. It’s one of those moments that I will remember vividly for the rest of my life, like the space shuttle Challenger explosion, the attack on the World Trade Center towers and waking up to my dining room windows shattering.

Which, now that I think about it, makes the fall and winter not very good times of the year for me historically. Let’s hope that changes as time goes on. So far so good with 2008. We have an Obama presidency to celebrate this fall.

History.

It’s been something we’ve heard often throughout this Presidential campaign – this campaign would have a special place in our country’s history.

To echo the words of many of my fellow bloggers, tonight I go to sleep with renewed faith in my country and my government. Tonight I feel that we have elected a President who is proud to serve his entire country, not just those who agree with him. Tonight I am hopeful for the future of this country, and of this world.

I honestly didn’t know if we would ever see a person of color be elected President of this country. I am proud that it happened in my lifetime and that I was a small part of making it happen. I am proud because it helps open doors for my sweet Peanut and the Doodlebug and the Sugarbear, and they have a right to grow up in a country knowing that they can achieve whatever they want to achieve, regardless of the color of their skin. They deserve nothing less.

Sometimes history happens and we don’t realize it for what it is until much later. Sometimes history brings a lot of heartache or trials and tribulations and we know history is being made, but we wish we could stop it and the pain involved.

And sometimes you are involved in making history, and it’s the most wonderful thing in the world.

An amazing time to be an American?

Perhaps very much so. Perhaps even an amazing time to be a North Carolinian.

Our senior senator Elizabeth Dole (R) has been projected to lose to state senator Kay Hagan (D-Guilford) in this election. I will be so glad to see the backside of Liddy Dole. Kay Hagan has served in the North Carolina senate and will be, in my opinion, a much better representative of the Tar Heel State than Liddy Dole, who only wanted to be a Senator because her hubby failed to win the Presidency…

While we’re talking amazing – Obama is still holding a significant lead in North Carolina with 1/3 of the precincts reporting. so far, it’s looking like Obama is going to pull off the landslide his supporters have hoped he would.

Clearly, a large percentage of Americans are ready for change. It’s about damn time.

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And speaking of American – this is one woman who is serious about casting her vote.

Yes

HOPE.

It’s interesting to me how HOPE has taken on such different meanings for different groups in this election. I never thought HOPE would have a negative connotation to so many people. It’s as though they are afraid of having hope. I know they are afraid of change, afraid of the unknown. But to be afraid of hope?

I keep seeing talk of values. As usual, the Republicans like to tout themselves as having values while the Democrats have none. Yet, when I’ve talked to my Republican friends and family members, what I’ve heard is that they plan to vote based on what will best benefit THEM, not what will best benefit society.

Now, I don’t go to church. I consider myself agnostic. But I don’t believe you have to have religion to have values. And, frankly, it makes me angry when I hear self-proclaimed Christians talk about values as if they own the concept. Because what I see in action is that many self-proclaimed Christians only care about those who look and think like themselves. Which seems pretty un-Christian-like.

I believe that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the betterment of the whole, a concept that is in line with the Democratic party. For example, perhaps we don’t need as much freedom to choose every little thing about our personal health care entities, with the benefit being that everyone who needs access to health care can have it. I would be okay with that, and not just in theory. I think it’s that important.

My cousin told me that he’s against “socialized medicine” (ha!) because it is AGAINST GOD’S WILL. He said it takes away his agency to give to the poor. That he should be able to give to the poor because he wants to, not because the government tells him to. That, he says, is the work of the devil.

No, I’m not joking. The government taking care of the poor is the work of the devil.

I told him that was all well and good, but unfortunately, people tend to only help those who look and think like themselves, and I firmly believe that it is appropriate (and necessary?) for the government to take care of those who would fall through the cracks. I frankly don’t understand how a government that proclaims to be of the people, by the people and for the people could not take care of its people – ALL OF ITS PEOPLE. I don’t see how ignoring those who need help the most, or expecting someone else to take care of those people, is a Christian value, or a human value for that matter.

So, I voted for Barack Hussein Obama for President. I voted for Obama because I believe that he cares about ALL of the people in this country, not just those who agree with him, not just those who look like him, not just the rich or just the poor or just the middle class. I believe he cares about all of this country and the people in it, not just “real America” and “real Americans.” I believe he will do his best to represent all of the people of this country, not just the religious right, or the extreme left.

I believe that Barack Obama is the candidate that best personifies all of the good things this country stands for. All of those things that we’ve somehow lost touch with over the past eight years.

Barack Obama gives me hope for this country. And, dammit, I like having hope.

How will the GOP handle defeat?

Krugman (recent recipient of the Nobel Prize in Economics) shares his thoughts. I think he’s right on.

The Republican Rump

(not that I’m counting my chickens, or anything…)

To quote CNN’s Jack Cafferty…

“If John McCain wins, this woman will be one 72-year-old’s heartbeat away from being President of the United States…and if that doesn’t scare the hell out of ya, it should.”

Palin got punk’d by a pair of Canadian comedian radio show hosts, and it’s all over the net. She took a call thinking it was French President Nicolas Sarkozy, but it turned out to be “The Masked Avengers” from a Montreal radio station. She carried on a conversation with the fake Sarkozy for about 7 minutes.

I mean, seriously. I can only hope that after Tuesday, Sarah Palin’s blunders will be part of history and not something we have to look at for four years…